Donald Trump Has Tapped My Wires

Terrible! I just learned that my radio station has had its “wires tapped” by future Former President Donald Trump. This is McCarthyism. Sad!

Well, actually, it turns out that I don’t mean “wiretapped” as much as I mean “surveilled.” But either way, it’s a gross violation of the law for an American President to order surveillance on a private citizen — a disabled veteran and retired government employee, yet. At the moment we’re not sure if he used our computers (we got a lot of those, including this one) to spy on me. Maybe our phones. Perhaps our in-studio microwave oven, which we don’t even have. Such is their treachery.

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